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ashes from the past

My friend told me yesterday that she saw a classmate of ours. He attended mass at their local church... Man, i would have loved to see him.

Which is weird because back in highschool I could not wait to see the last of him. He was the fly in my highschool life. Well distance makes the heart go fonder, I guess. (Besides, i heard he graduated from PMA, airforce unit... now, if I can just contact my sharpshooter Army General uncle)
That might be the reason why I cant seem to let go of some people in my life. You know it has gotta go but you're too comfortable having it around. Like your tonsils.

Darn, now I have to look for things to do so I can stop moping around.

Ingredients for Double Dutchess

Hmmm, I just got bored and took these tests. They were very... uhmmm, interesting. . So for people who know me, or used to but have disowned me, what do you think?

Thinking style:
The way you think about things makes you a Conceptual Synthesizer. Conceptual Synthesizers can easily read between the lines and understand exactly what's going on. <Useful for a career in showbiz gossip> This means you easily grasp underlying concepts when learning something new. You're also able to see complex relationships between ideas that are not always apparent to other people. You're very focused in your approach to life and are not easily distracted. <wow, a fly... im sorry what was that again?>
When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Conceptual Synthesizer. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities. I am not a freak!!!!>

Greatest Intelligence:
Being linguistically intelligent means that you have a knack for using words and language. As a result, you've probably noticed that you have a greater gift for expressing yourself than most people around you. <So why did it take me two & a half weeks to finish the article for our magazine?> In fact, you might be known in your circle of friends as something of a wordsmith. Whether writing or speaking, you're the type to get your point across with both precision and flair. At times, this can make you a very persuasive communicator. By choosing the right words at the right time, you can clearly express your ideas, thoughts, and feelings to others. This can be a crucial skill in both your professional and personal life.

Subconscious:
Your subconscious mind is driven most by Imagination

People who have unconscious minds driven by imagination tend to be energetic types who possess a passion for life. As a result, they may also be happy for almost any excuse to celebrate.

This means you have a deep desire to use innovative ideas to enhance your life and influence the world around you. This drive influences you far more than you may realize on a conscious level. Your need to be innovative drives how you look at new opportunities and the kinds of experiences in life you choose to have. .

On an unconscious level, the reason you may be so driven by imagination is your fear of destruction, the opposite of creation. When you are unable to create due to restrictions imposed by your environment or even ones you unwittingly impose on yourself, do you feel trapped or confined? You may find these feelings of unease only get better when you find another outlet for your imagination. With such a strong creative orientation, you are willing to entertain a broad spectrum of ideas at any given time. The world is a fuller, richer place because you can contribute new ideas to any experience. Your natural curiosity inspires those around you and encourages them to come up with ideas they wouldn't have thought of without your help.
Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Imagination, there is much more to who you are at your core.

Ultimate Personality:

You're a Millionaire!

You aim to succeed in multiple realms of your life. But through it all, you also know how to impress people and have a good time. You're very ambitious and personable, and you've got a great sense of humor. That will carry you farther than people who just want to climb the corporate and social ladders of life at any expense.

You care a lot about how you look. You're bursting with self-confidence, and people admire you for your achievements and determination. Behind that bold exterior you sometimes worry that you're not good enough. You can also be so critical of your work that it verges on self-destructive. You aim to succeed — and you'll quickly crush anyone who stands in your way. And that's just scratching the surface!

the saddest lines

For those who loved dearly... like me.

And for those who got hurt deeply... like me.

For those who wish that they can stop loving easily...

yet continues to hope.

like me.


Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer,
and these the last verses that I write for her.

-Pablo Neruda

NuTs!!!

This might not be that big a surprise but I do love nuts!
There are different types but I love them all. I find that chocolate can sometimes be nauseatingly sweet but add some nuts and I devour them like crazy. That might explain my choice of friends, methinks. They are all so crazy! And I never realized how crazy they were until yesterday...

But like they say... birds of the same feather.